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@jim_brewie

jim_brewie

Native Texan talkin' crap about beer that I drank recently. Bar's set pretty low here. Just be happy there's a bar...somewhere.

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Her: Hon? Me: [grunts in acknowledgment] hmmm. H: This one's been in the fridge awhile. M: [grunts inquisitively] hmmm? H: It says..."Haze Wizard" M: [The Flash suit appears briefly in mad dash to kitchen] H: What the f- M: YOU FOUND IT H: The...beer can? M: Not just a "beer can." Likely the last of its kind in existence! H: So you have...an...endangered?...beer in the fridge? M: @3nationsbrewing just re-designed the label. It's very possible I purchased one the last of this run in existence! You've stumbled on a gold mine! H: Oh, well...okay then. So I guess it was tasty? M: Lightest of light on the hoppiness, just a nip on the back of the palate. Otherwise, a touch of citrus. Hella-crushworthy. H: So...is it now worth like...6/10 times its original value, right? M: [stifled laughter] H: What? M: That's the best joke I've heard all day. H: Why? If not to make money, what other reason would you have to start this instagram account? M: pfffft[uncontrollable laughter] 🤣🤣🤣. . . H: WHAT IS SO FUNNY?! M: [between chuckles, near death] HAH...instagram...hahaha....'make money'…pffft 😂🤣🤪💀. . . . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dfwbeer #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #screaminhops #transam #firebird #pontiacfirebird #thedrunkendolphin #hazewizard #neipa #resp3cttradition #3nationsbrewing #farmersbranch #farmersbranchtx #farmersbranchtexas

Her: Dude. That's like...you're 7/10th pastry stout this week. And it's still Monday. Me: It's not a stout. H: Then why's there a cake on the can? M: Because it's a pastry ale called Black Forest Cake. H: Pastry...ale? [twitch] M: Yes. And @martinhousebrewing even worked with @swisspastryshopfw to create it last year. Glad they brought it back around. H: But...pastries go in stouts. . . M: It was lighter than I was expecting. Chocolate and cherry were in there, but a little hard to tack down. The cakey-sweetness was definitely the prominent flavor. H: Do rules mean anything anymore? M: I mean, a pastry IPA sounds kinda weird, but I'm not sure there are rules fo- H: Wait...why am I on the receiving end of this lecture? We still need to talk about your stout-drinking habits as of late. Me: And *we* need you to get up out my bizness. IT'S STOUT SEASON MOTHERF- . . #gotexan #craftbrew #drinkcraft #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dfwbeer #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #itsallinthehips #allinthehips #happygilmore #glasstomouth #blackforestcake #swisspastryshop #blackforestcakeale #cakeale #pastryale #martinhouse #martinhousebrewery #fortworthtx

Her: We need room in the fridge. I'm either pouring a beer down the drain or into a glass, so pick one. Me: Whatever's in front then. H: [grabs Cosmic Turtle from @naked_river_brewing] And the glass? M: You pick. H: [rifles around for 7/10 seconds, then brings beer over to desk] M: Thanks, hon. [sips beer] Ah, a blood orange IPA. No matter how bitter they hop these, the orange always seems to cut through that. Always loved them. H: [stands there, looking pleased with herself] M: 🤨...is there...something else? [looks down at glass] Um...why did you pour what looks like a 12-oz beer in my 21-oz Ninja Turtles glass? H: [holds out can] See? We're saving all the turtles! M: So we are. I retract my previous complaint. Good job. H: DRINK MORE. MUST HELP @turtlesurvival ALLIANCE M: Well, I guess we've figured out how to get you into craft beer. Her: WE'VE GOT TURTLES TO SAVE. SHUT UP AND DRINK, BI- . . #tennesseecraftbeer #tennesseebeer #chattanoogabeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #tennesseeaquarium #drinkbeersaveturtles #turtlepower #turtlesintime #sipsynth #synthhop #bloodorangipa #cosmicturtle #nakedriverbrewing #KeepItNaked #chattanooga #nooga #noogamade #chattanoogatn

Her: [from the couch, staring at can of Haze Hunter from @brutalbeerworks] Me: [standing on other side of the kitchen bar] H: You've...been holding onto that one for awhile. Like, 7/10 weeks. M: I know. The Citra and Galaxy already lend to a sweeter finish, so now I'm wondering if the extra age added to that, or if that's just because it's a quad IPA. Either way, I friggen love the flavor I'm getting. Only thing it's really missing is a little more carbonation. H: So...why did you wait so long? M: Had to wait on the #properglassware to show it off. H: But why would you need a specific gla- M: [raises up Duck Hunt glass from @theanswerva] Her: I retract my previous question. Me: [sardonically sips beer] . . #gotexan #craftbrew #drinkcraft #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dfwbeer #dfwab #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #hazehunter #DuckHunt #quadipa #theanswer #beeristheanswer #brutalbeerworks #embraceyourchaos #gunnyhole #nrh #northrichlandhillstx

Her: [opens fridge] Me: Her: [closes fridge] Me: Her: Uh...what fresh hell is this? (still)Me: Her: We had a talk about off-brand Dr. Pepper cans being banned from this fridge. Me: [still confused] Her: Dr. Bee's? Me: That's not Dr. Pepper. Her: CLEARLY. We blew wayyyy past that already, Steve Prefontaine. Me: No, I mean it's not even a coke (translation: 'soda pop', for my out-of-state friends!). Her: Then why does it look and smell like Dr. Pepper? Me: Because...the folks at @breakingbrewmeadery combined 7/10+ ingredients to mimic the 23 flavors of Dr. Pepper? Her: So it *IS* a knock-off! I knew it! Me: It's a MEAD. Her: That sounds like an even stupider way to go about making a knock-off Dr. Pepper! Me: It's- [breathes deeply]...It's not a competing beverage. This is a *mead* that serves as an alcoholic homage to the soft drink. Flavor's a tad syrupy, but otherwise dead-on. Her: So why would they want to create an even sweeter alcoholic version of an already-sweet soft drink? Me: Because...Texas? Her: 🤨. . . Me: 😕. . . Her: That's an entirely valid geographical argument, I guess. Me: Put it in a Whataburger cup, pair it with Smitty's black pepper sausage, and you've got the most Texan thing ever. Include a coupon for a free hour at the gun range for good measure. Her: Wait, what's the difference between a 'knock-off' and an 'homage'? Me: [twitch] . . #meadmonday #craftmead #mead #honeywine #honeywineismeadfyi #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #texasmead #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #beargrillz #outerrangebrewing #drbee #drbees #drpepperbeer #breakingbrew #dallastx #farmersbranchtx

Me: Strawberries. Raspberries. Yum. Glad I found this hiding in the back of the fridge. Her: Uh...didn't you get this last year in a trade? How is it still any good? Me: Dunno. Tastes like the first can did last winter, and I'm not dead yet. Her: 'Yet'. . . Me: Thanks for that insightful commentary, Debbie Downer. We'll be back after a brief commercial break from our sponsor, @greatnotion. Her: Hm. That fella's carrying a lot of berries. Guessing the beer's got flavor to match? Me: Yep. Berries all the way down. Her: Well this got real spiritual, real quick. The turtles won't like being deposed. Me: Eh, I'm sure they could use a break from their planet-carrying duties. Her: Yeah! Take a load off for 6/10 eons, grab a daquiri, and throw on some cool Jammy Pants, like mine! Me: Sure, just so long as they put some proper clothes on when they leave the house. Her: What's wrong with wearing sweatpants outside? Me: You mean your 'give up on life pants'? Her: [storms off] Me: Both Seinfeld *and* Jake the Dog agree on this issue! It's an irrefutable fact at this point! . . #oregonbeer #oregoncraftbeer #portlandbeer #craftbrew #drinkcraft #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #sipnproper #wherethewildhopsgrow #wherethewildthingsare #onlyonemanwhowoulddaregivemetheraspberry #jammypants #fruitbeer #berrybeer #fruitedsour #sourbeer #kettlesour #greatnotion #portlandoregon #portlandor

.- FRIENDLY PSA WITH JIM 📣 -. Look, I get it. 2020 sucks. You're fed up. Tired of masks, tired of social distancing. You just wanna give Grandma a hug and crush those mashed taters and pun'kin pie tomorrow, without a care for anyone else. . But let's be realistic. Based on the latest air travel projections, very few people are interested in Zoom Thanksgiving this year. So as you ramble over to your respective family gatherings, please, be vigilant: you can still test negative and be a carrier if you were exposed a couple days' prior. . So don't be a Scumbag Steve/Stacy, and do your part to protect your at-risk family members: .✔️ Try to host your holiday gatherings outside (if weather/temp permits). .✔️ Spread out. Excuse to eat in the tree house? Yes, please! .✔️ Masks ON, unless your stuffing your pie hole with...well, pie or stuffing. .❌ DON'T hug your Great Aunt Ethel. .✔️ Draw a picture of you hugging her instead – it'll mean more to her anyway. .✔️ Wash. Your damn. Hands. .✔️ Bring hand sanitizer too. Because Uncle Delbert is a potential super-spreader. .- and most of all -. .✔️ Enjoy this time with your family. Y'all can still be friendly, even at a distance. As someone who's already lost a loved one to this crap (and very nearly several others), I can't explain enough how important it is that this is a team responsibility. . So don't be stupid. Do all that you can to reduce the risk of transmission. You might be the one to thank when Aunt Ethel's still around to cherish that drawing next Thanksgiving. . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dfwbeer #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #happythanksgivingyall #HappyThanksgiving #maskupyall #gourdzilla #17percentdrip #pumpkinbeer #pumpkinstout #brutalbeerworks #embraceyourchaos #gunnyhole #nrh #northrichlandhillstx

Her: Wow, you suck at uncorking bottles. Me: ExCUUUUSE ME SERIOUSLY, PLEASE AND THANK YOU? H: Calm down, Miss Fire. M: Besides, 'twas yer fancy-schmancy electro-wine opener done the deed, not me. H: Sure. Blame the equipment, not the operator. M: I *just* used a manual opener with no problem. Luckily, no cork-dust ended up in this creative concoction from my good friend Tom at @deadwoodmeadery. H: Oooooo is that the one you traded for? [gets in a good sniff] Mmm...what is it? M: Earl Grey. H: Huwhat? Thought you said something about a 'meadery.' M: I did. It's their Midnight Society Blueberry & Earl Grey Tea Mead. The flavors are distinct and easy to pick apart from each other. Plus, you get a nice, earthy tea finish after the bergamot oil fades. Ends with just enough lingering blueberry to bring everything full-circle. H: So is it...Earl Grey tea-flavored mead? Or...mead-flavored Earl Grey tea? M: Uh...the former? I guess? He put a butt-load of tea bags in it. H: So...it's tea, then. Technically. M: I mean, I gue- H: But with mead instead of water. M: [squints in Texan] H: Which probably starts out at 8/10 water anyway. M: [frustrated sigh] H: And because he brewed it. M: I think you're reading too far into this. . . #meadmonday #craftmead #nevadabeer #nevadacraftbeer #craftbrew #drinkcraft #lasvegasbeer #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #pitterpatter #missfire #allthewhales #breach #smallbatchglassware #midnightsociety #earlgrey #teaearlgreyhot #deadwoodmeadery #lasvegas #lasvegasnv

Time for another NO BS 🐂💩 review, y&#039;all. . This. This is the pinnacle for hazy Mosaic. It&#039;s crazy to think you can get this much juiciness out of what&#039;s widely regarded as a &#039;balanced&#039; hop variety, but I expect no less from the House of M, especially in the hands of a capable brewery like @fieldworkbrewingco. I was worried that I was over-hyping myself for this, given that I&#039;m a map nerd (thanks to 9/10 years&#039; worth of Carmen Sandiego episodes) and the U.S. Geological Survey motif that Fieldwork picked for this gorgeous label. I was not disappointed. All the right amounts of juicy, piney, and grassy in all the right places. . Good Lord. .< /review >. . . #craftbrew #berkeleybeer #calibeer #californiabeer #drinkcraft #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #sipsynth #synthhop #masterroshi #turtlehermit #kidgoku #dragonballz #tahitianblue #mosaicipa #ilovemaps #mapnerd #fieldworkbrewing #fieldworkbrewingco #berkeleyca

Her: So...you haven&#039;t written a review in over a week. Me: I know. But a project that I can best describe as a "glitter bomb" is falling from the sky at work, and it&#039;s taken everything ounce of free time I&#039;ve had this past week to keep this massive, sparkly ball-o&#039;-fun in the air, and from turning into a sparkly, massive mess. H: So...pick a beer then. I&#039;ll bring it to you. M: I really and truly don&#039;t have time right now. H: Fine. I&#039;m picking one for you then. M: Please don&#039;t. I have to get this map done befor- H: [forcefully offers @martinhousebrewing&#039;s BUFFALO WANGZ sour] M: [absent-mindedly accepts can out of habit] H: [snarky grin] M: [looks up, mix of confusion and frustration] H: [scampers off] Enjoy! M: …you do realize this iS WHY ALL OUR FRIENDS THINK I HAVE TRUST ISSUES, RIGHT? Her: [cackles maniacally from the other room] . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dfwbeer #ntxbeer #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #hopkillers #icecold #bihan #kuailiang #buffalosauce #whythehellnot #sourbeer #buffalowangz #martinhouse #martinhousebrewery #fortworthtx

Really didn&#039;t plan on this being a sappy beer review. But we&#039;ve lost two screen legends in as many weeks, and this happened to be in the fridge. . We didn&#039;t get cable TV until I reached high school, so most of my screentime entertainment came in the form of a) network gameshows and b) old movies borrowed from my grandparents. So I had quite a bit of Jeopardy, a lot of westerns, and a fair number of early Bond films (and Indiana Jones!) under my belt before I was old enough to understand why "Pussy Galore" made my Papa laugh like a hyena huffing nitrous oxide. . So what better way to commemorate everyone&#039;s favorite trivia titan and the OG sultan of suave, than via the SNL rivalry that brought their personalities together? Back when the internet was still young and Youtube hadn&#039;t *quite* taken off yet, soundboards were how we consumed 7/10ths of our pop culture. A week didn&#039;t go by without someone mis-quoting a category, a Connery-crack at a friend&#039;s mom, or a teacher ordering us to explain what "potent potables" were. . Well, this potent potable from @ivanhoeparkbrew is also pretty tasty. Suck it, Trebek is a kettle-sour IPA that hits the right balance of sour citrus, pine, and bitter. It was a much-needed dose of nostalgia after the anxiety-fest of the past two weeks. Rest well, you two. And I hope that you&#039;ve finally been able to meet in the After to work out your imaginary differences! . . #craftbrew #drinkcraft #floridabeer #floridacraftbeer #flbeer #orlandobeer #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #sipnproper #wherethewildhopsgrow #wherethewildthingsare #suckittrebek #souripa #kettlesour #ivanhoeparkbrewing #floridabreweries #orlando #orlandofl #orlandoflorida

That feeling when you almost have your beer stockpile under control, and your significant other brings a crapload of beer home with her from her Girl&#039;s Trip to Chattanooga. . . #tennesseecraftbeer #tennesseebeer #chattanoogabeer #nashvillebeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #chattanoogabrewingcompany #southerngrist #nakedriverbrewing #chattanooga #nooga #noogamade #chattanoogatn #nashvilletn

Me: Mmmmm...nutty, malty, and a nibble of chocolate. Her: [leans back in office chair to stare at me from home office] M: ??? [eyes dart left-right in obvious confusion] H: [disgusted look] Do you mind? M: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯...what? H: I&#039;ve got about 6/10 more emails to get through before I call it a day, meanwhile you&#039;re over there practically describing your vivid love affair with a BEER. M: What? No, this is Bro Hugs, from @freefolkbrew. It&#039;s completely platonic! H: Oh, really, then what&#039;s that lipstick stain on the glass? M: I CAN&#039;T HELP IT IF MY PERSCRIPTION CHAPSTICK IS THICK, LUSCIOUS, AND COLORFUL. My lips are sensitive...and so are my feelings...[sniff]. . (and can we talk about the beautiful linework art on these labels? Thanks again, @wild_wonderful_women_of_brews!) . . #porchbomb #beermail #wvcraftbeer #westvirginiabeer #wvbeer #wvbreweries #craftbrew #drinkcraft #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #sipsynth #synthhop #batmanbeyond #terrymcginnis #brownale #brohugs #bringitin #freefolk #freefolkbrew #fayettevillewv

GREAT HEIGHTS ANNIVERSARY Me: [nose over glass] Her: [Weirdy-sense starts tingling] M: [heavy sniffing intensifies] H: Do you MIND? I&#039;m in the middle of this &#039;Teenage Bounty Hunters&#039; episode, and Blair&#039;s mom is finally dishing the dirt on her shady past! M: &#039;meere. H: Huh? M: &#039;MEERE. H: I don&#039;t wanna &#039;meere. I wanna finish my show. M: This smells like wine. H: [jettisons herself from the couch to the kitchen] PRESENT WINE IMMEDIATELY. M: I said it *smells* like wine. It&#039;s @greatheightsbrewing&#039;s Second Anniversary Barrel-Aged Stout, actually. H: [inhales] Lies. This is wine. M: No, it&#039;s an incredibly complex stout, with vanilla, coffee, oaky malt, dried fruit, and about 8/10 flavors. all on prominent display. H: Sounds like good wine. M: Yea-I mean, NO. But it is *almost* too complex for its own good. Luckily, it&#039;s still squarely in the space of awesome. H: Like wine. M: Honey? H: mmmmYes? M: Please remove thine schnozz from mine pretend-wine glass. H: [heavy sniffing likewise intensifies] . . #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #texasbreweries #houstonbeer #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #sipsynth #synthhop #lordfrieza #thisisntevenmyfinalform #dragonballz #secondanniversary #imperialstout #barrelaged #barrelagedbeer #stoutseason #greatheights #greatheightsbrewing #houston #houstontx

.-💀👻 DIA DE LOS MUERTOS 👻💀-. . Her: More spoopy today! Me: We&#039;re almost out of spoopy days, though. This one&#039;s just a bonus. H: But...mah spoopy. . . M: Luckily, today&#039;s the *actual* holiday, so we can still celebrate our ancestors and toast this tasty, smoky black lager to their honor. H: Oh. &#039;Calavera.&#039; I get it now. M: Wait...you mean you didn&#039;t get it when you bought this from @chattanoogabrewco? H: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯...I just liked it &#039;cuz I thought the little skelly-mens looked cute riding the rooster. M: Yes, the skelly-mens is cute, and the beer is awesome. You did good. H: One question, though. M: Hm? H: What does Freddie Mercury have to do with Dia De Los Muertos? M: For the 7/10th time, THAT&#039;S NOT FREDDIE MERCURY. H: Or- M: OR FREDDY FENDER. H: Huh. Guess you could say my music knowledge...🕶️🙂 M: NO-. . . Her: ...is a little off-tune today 😎 . 🌇🌆🌆🌆🌆 YEEAAAAH . . #diadelosmuertos #tennesseecraftbeer #tennesseebeer #chattanoogabeer #craftbrew #drinkcraft #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #hoysebebe #17percentdrip #vicentefernandez #vicentefernández #chente #calavera #blacklager #chattanoogabrewingcompany #chattanooga #nooga #noogamade #chattanoogatn

.-🎃🧟 SPOOPY BEER TIME 😱🦇-. . Morty: Dude. You&#039;ve been staring at that beer for like, half an hour. Snifter Rick: Yeah...shit or get off the pot, buddy. Me: Just...gimme a minute. I&#039;m legitimately afraid of a Bloody Mary. Doubly so if it&#039;s part of a Pickle Beer. Morty: Like, afraid in a &#039;spoopy&#039; way? [eyes begin to sparkle] M: No. It&#039;s genuine fear. It&#039;s why I&#039;ve put it off as long as I can for this Halloween-y beer themed-campaign. Rick: Uuuh*hurgh*...hurry it up, willya? I gotta flip back to my human form to make this sick-ass party on Unity&#039;s Planet here in like, one Earth-hour. Me: No promises I can finish this in less than 4 hours. Morty: Oh c&#039;mon! This was just supposed to be a pit stop! I- I&#039;ll- start doing the summoning thing if you don&#039;t hurry it up! Me: Wow. [looks at Snifter Rick] Morty finally grow a backbone? Rick: Don&#039;t look at me, I still mix him and Summer up all the time. I&#039;m definitely paying attention. Morty: [spins once] BLOODY MARY Me: GEEZ okay! [takes sip] Oh. I&#039;m...less mad at this than the other Pickle Beers I&#039;ve had. Rick: Yeah, seems like the tomato and celery tone the "whole thing" down a bit. Morty: [spins twice] BLOODY MARY Me: But that dash of Worcestershire sauce, definitely getting&#039; that. Hoo boy. Rick: Smells pretty spicy. No envy on this end. Me: Eh, not too spicy. Just still not my thing. Sorry/Not Sorry, @martinhousebrewing. Morty: [spins thrice] BLOODY MARRRRYYYY Me: So, are you gonna...tell him he&#039;s s&#039;posed to be in front of a mirror for this, or. . . Rick: Nah, just let him wear himself out. This is way more entertaining than anything that would&#039;ve happened at that party. Morty: [stumbling] BLOOD...[dizzy speech]BLUH...DEE MAR- . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dfwab #dfwbeer #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #spoopy #bloodymary #bloodymarybeer #bestmaid #sourbeer #spicybeer #picklerick #wubbalubbadubdub #martinhouse #martinhousebrewery #fortworthtx

.-🎃🧟 SPOOPY BEER TIME 😱🦇-. . Me: Mmmm...@ingeniousbeer made this taste boozy. Her: Stout Chocula was barrel-aged? M: No. But they did push the ABV to 10%. I&#039;m sure the marshmallows had something to do with that, too. H: Hm. Odd they focused on the marshmallows. Figured they&#039;d want to use a milk stout as the base. M: They did use a milk stout as the base. H: . . . M: What? H: THEN WHY IN THE NAME OF BELA LUGOSI ARE YOU NOT POURING IT ON THE CEREAL? You have the damn full box of it right there! M: I...dunno! I thought it would be a worn-out gimmick by the end of October! H: So did you see other 8/10 weird people that post about beer pouring it on their cereal? M: Now that I think about it...no? H: SO NEXT TIME, STOP PRE-EMPTING GIMMICKY TRENDS, AND JUST DO IT. Shia LaBeouf: Yeah! Just DO IT. [Both turn to see SLB staring at them, glassy eyed, in signature pose] M: Wait...why&#039;s Shia LaBeouf here? H: I dunno...you didn&#039;t invite him? M: Why would...you even think I have a personal relationship w/Shia LaBeouf? H: Well that&#039;s...definitely spoopy. SLB: YOU&#039;LL NEVER GET ME LUCKY CHARMS [swipes box, runs] Me: GET BACK HERE, SHIA LaBEOUF! THOSE AREN&#039;T EVEN LUCKY CHARMS Shia LaBeouf: THEY&#039;RE MAGICALLY DELICIOUSSSSSSSS Her: Somehow, I don&#039;t think that&#039;s the only "magical" thing he&#039;s consumed today. . . #gotexan #craftbrew #drinkcraft #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #drinklocalbeer #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #spoopy #sipsynth #synthhop #lordfrieza #thisisntevenmyfinalform #dragonballz #countchocula #stoutchocula #milkstout #marshmallowstout #ingeniousbrewingco #ingeniousbeer #alesfortheopenminded #humble #humbletx

.-🎃🧟 SPOOPY BEER TIME 😱🦇-. . Her: Oh...so you&#039;re going all-in on this Spoopy-cereal beer thing. Me: Tryna figure out which tombstone to put it with. H: Well, what&#039;s special about this one? M: It&#039;s @ingeniousbeer&#039;s FrankenFroyo, a double milkshake IPA that they made with strawberries and those little cereal marshmallows. H: ...and once again, you&#039;ve constructed a series of words that have no business sitting next to each other in a sentence. Simply stunning. You&#039;ve lost me. M: It&#039;s called &#039;froyo&#039; because they use milk sugar to make it creamy. And also marshmallows, in this case. H: Oh. Okay. Cool. [wanders off] M: Strawberry flavor&#039;s really fresh, melds well with the creaminess. But I can still pick up on the underlying IPA backbone, which is kinda rare with these hella-sweet hazys. H: This one. M: Huh? H: After 7/10 minutes of listening to you drone on, I decided to just pick one out m&#039;self. M: Wait...you denied your inner white girl...and actually made a decision instead of forcing me to make the choice you were gonna make anyway, regardless of my input? H: I was getting bored, figured you&#039;d get huffy either way. M: And the fact that Frankenstein&#039;s Monster was an affront to the natural order of life and death didn&#039;t play into your tombstone selection at all? H: Huh? M: In other words, why this one? Her: Oh, I liked the pretty flower my friend painted on it. Me: [facepalm]. . . . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #madtownbeerglass #heman #skeletor #mastersoftheuniverse #spoopy #itsalive #frankenberry #frankenfroyo #milkshakeipa #ingeniousbrewingco #ingeniousbeer #alesfortheopenminded #humble #humbletx

.-🎃🧟 SPOOPY BEER TIME 😱🦇-. . Her: Okay, now *that&#039;s* spoopy. Me: Ain&#039;t it? Luckily, @ingeniousbeer&#039;s Boo Berry Fluff is just as tasty. Reminds me of blueberry Smarties. H: They never made blueberry Smarties. M: [frustrated, as usual] I know that, I meant that it&#039;s what it would taste like if they di- never mind. H: [smiles fiendishly] it&#039;s always fun sharing these wind-up moments with you. M: Well, I *was* gonna share this blueberry-marshmallow Berliner Weisse with you, but you&#039;re being a butt, so. . . H: GIB MIR DIE BERLINER WEISSE...SCHNELL M: [alarmed] Wait, what? Since when do you speak Deutsche? H: I don&#039;t. M: Then what the fudge crackers was that? Is the Ghost of Halloween-Past German, and you&#039;ve become possessed? H: It&#039;s possible. M: Does this...happen often? H: I dunno...8/10 days? M: A year? H: More like a week? M: There&#039;s only 7 days in a week! H: I dunno! Time works differently in the afterlife, I can&#039;t dictate their schedule! Disembodied voice: ICH BIN HIER, UM MEHR ÜBER "SPOOPY" ZU ERFAHREN. ICH MEINE DIR KEIN SCHANDEN M: BACK OFF, MÜSLIBIERGEIST. We&#039;re in the middle of somethin&#039; here. H: She&#039;s just saying that she means us no harm. M: Well, maybe she should stop SHOUTING. It&#039;s sending the wrong message. Disembodied voice: ICH HABE PROBLEME, DIE LAUSTÄRKE MEINER STIMME ZU STEUERN. ES IST EINE SPRACHBEDINGTE ERKRANGKUNG. [begins sobbing] Her: Well, now you&#039;ve done it. What a jerk. Me: I didn&#039;t even know ghosts could *have* medical conditions! They&#039;re already dead! Disembodied voice: [bawling] WAAAAAAAAAAHAUGHAHAHAHAAAAA . . #gotexan #craftbrew #drinkcraft #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #houstonbeer #drinklocalbeer #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #spoopy #bewareofhitchhikingghosts #theanswer #beeristheanswer #chaosemeralds #knuckles #berlinerweisse #booberry #booberryfluff #ingeniousbrewingco #ingeniousbeer #alesfortheopenminded #humble #humbletx

.-🎃🧟 SPOOPY BEER TIME 😱🦇-. . Her: Wow, this Triple Berry craze is really taking off. Me: And I hope it continues as it has with @martinhousebrewing&#039;s Queen of the Mist – in a good way. H: Oh. &#039;Her&#039; again. Her cans got bigger, I see. M: Strawberries mellow out the black and rasp-wait, what? H: I didn&#039;t say anything. M: No, you said something about cans. H: Nothing of the sort. M: I- y&#039;know what, nevermind. Same barrel-aged Salty Lady goodness, different fruit, and 4 more ounces in the can. Might be my favorite of 7/10 in the series so far. H: Ssssoooo...this beer is &#039;spoopy&#039;, how? M: I dunno, you tell me. Stare into her eyes. Her: [squints at can] OH GOD THEY&#039;RE AS COLD AND DEAD AS AUBREY PLAZA&#039;S Me: Heh. Spoopiness achieved. . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dfwbeer #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #pourcharacter #hawaiianpunch #sourbeer #queenofthemist #barrelaged #saltylady #barrelagedbeer #tripleberry #martinhouse #martinhousebrewing #fortworthtx

.-🎃🧟 SPOOPY BEER TIME 😱🦇-. . Her: Wait. I thought we were only reviewing &#039;spoopy&#039; beers. There&#039;s nothing &#039;spoopy&#039; about a bunch of pumpkins and a questionable skateboarding reference. M: Really happy with how this &#039;Gordo&#039; from @clownshoesbeer turned out, only detecting a hint of pumpkin spice. H: I mean, is this the colloquial term for Gordon & Smith, well-known skateboard manufacturer? M: [visibly flustered] Flavor&#039;s mostly smoky malts, and some coffee underneath. H: Or that weird &#039;Gordo&#039; skateboard made by Macho? M: [frustration intensifies] And...it&#039;s not boozy at all. H: Oh! Or maybe that weird Australian sk8er boi from the 90s. . . M: You know...a surprising amount of skateboarding factoids. H: Like 7/10 girls my age, I had an Avril Lavigne phase. Get over it. At least I&#039;m not trying to pass off &#039;fall&#039; beers as &#039;spoopy&#039;. M: [rage returns] THERE&#039;S A JACK-O-LANTERN ON IT. RIGHT THERE. [points angrily] H: Wowwww. I&#039;m spooped right out of my tastefully-curated leggings, adorned with FRIGGEN CALAVERAS DE AZUCAR. *Those* are spoopy. This is like...Spoopy-Lite...not to be confused with a Snoopy Lite. M: I had a Snoopy Lite! H: Yes. And a giant stuffed bunny on your left, and giant stuff bulldog on your right. Every night. To keep the "aliens" away. Your mother mentioned that. M: Well, I&#039;m still here on planet Earth, so it worked didn&#039;t it? Her: Are we...*entirely* sure about that? Me: [eyes widen] . [later on the phone] . Her: Broke him again. Veered into potential alien abduction-territory by accident. Mama Brewie: [sighs heavily] I&#039;ll bring Bunny and Kringle. . . #massbeer #masscraftbeer #bostonbeer #craftbrew #drinkcraft #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #spoopy #17percentdrip #gordo #sk8erboy #sk8erboi #pumpkinbeer #pumpkinstout #imperialstout #barrelaged #barrelagedbeer #clownshoes #clownshoesbeer #bostonma

.-🎃🧟 SPOOPY BEER TIME 😱🦇-. . Me: Posting the one with your spoopy-cute skull planter. Her: FINALLY. M: It&#039;s your favorite decoration, so I paired it with my favorite-ever peanut butter stout. H: Why&#039;s this one so special? M: Most PB stouts come off either pretzel-y or too sweet for me. For whatever reason, this one hits the right balance of peanut-buttery goodness, sweetness, and coffee tastes. I think the oatmeal may play a part in that, too. And the Quaker oats box on the can label was a nice touch that I didn&#039;t notice until 8/10 seconds ago. H: &#039;Oatipus Complex&#039;? M: Yup. From the good folks at @turningpointbeer. An improvement over last year&#039;s release, too. H: But how is this beer &#039;spoopy&#039;? M: ...it&#039;s a play on &#039;Oedipus.&#039; H: [confused-shoulder-shrug] M: ...as in &#039;Oedipus Complex&#039;? From Freud&#039;s- H: Ewwwww no I get it now. Seems more &#039;creppy&#039; than &#039;spoopy&#039; though. M: Fair point. Good thing there was still a dumb Halloween typo to lean on! H: Can we just...[hurk] stop talking about this now? M: Point re-taken. I&#039;ll get the scalding shower going. . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dfwbeer #dfwab #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #oatipuscomplex #oatmealstout #peanutbutterstout #pbstout #sipsynth #synthhop #lordfrieza #thisisntevenmyfinalform #dragonballz #turningpointbeer #bedford #bedfordtx

.-🎃🧟 SPOOPY BEER TIME 😱🦇-. . Her: Ah, another masterpiece, I see. Me: Yeah, it&#039;s kinda spoopy how easy it&#039;s been to pair these beers up with the Halloween decorations in the front yard. Her: A beer named &#039;Brain Killer&#039; plus the tombstone for a dude that met his end when a rock fell on his head...that one was pretty straightforward. Me: Yep. As straightforward as this Tiki-sour is with the pineapple and coconut flavors up front, courtesy of @astralbrewing and @secretbeachbrewing. Her: Lots of tombstones left to cover, hope your liver&#039;s ready to accommodate. Me: At least 6/10 other spoopy beers lined up, for sure. As for my liver&#039;s part in this...I cannot attest to its willingness to cover the entire spread of uncanny epitaphs here. Her: Uncanny, indeed. It&#039;s almost like we *planned* the tombstone text ahead of time to match the beers. . . [both turn to look through 4th wall] Her: pssst [prods in ribs]...breaking the 4th wall is s&#039;posed to be *my* thing...[spoken through clenched teeth] Me: Aw, shit – sorry. [clears throat] Ahem – YOU&#039;RE DOING IT AGAIN. WHO ARE YOU STARING AT?! Her: That&#039;s more like it. Spoopy-ness restored. Me: Think they bought it? Her: They won&#039;t if yoU keEP BREAKING CHARACTER, JIMMY FALLON. . . #gotexan #craftbrew #drinkcraft #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #houstonbeer #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #brainkiller #sourbeer #tikisour #spoopy #astralbrewing #secretbeach #secretbeachbrewing #houston #houstontx #htx

.-🎃🧟 SPOOPY BEER TIME 😱🦇-. . Her: SKULLS Me: Yes. Skulls. H: I LOVE SKULLS M: Yes. I&#039;m aware. H: The squigglies on the skulls are so artistically prominent! M: Leave it to you to hone in on one of the creepiest parts of human developmental anatomy. H: SO SPOOPYYYYY M: Can we talk about how the savory-sweet goldenberries are a perfect counter-balance to the blackberries in this imperial sour instead? H: Oh! Goldenberry eyeballs! M: Yeah, I guess that&#039;s what @armadilloaleworks was going for on the Black Bonnet box art. Glad you&#039;re finally paying attention for more than 7/10 sec- H: Awwww look at the little capes for the goldenberry on the can! So cute! M: [sighs] If I take you to the drive-thru haunted house, will you take the spoopy-fangirl-ing down a notch? H: Yay! But wait...if you&#039;re in the car, how will you fear-punch people that jump-scare you? M: I don&#039;t have a &#039;flight&#039; response AND IT&#039;S NOT SOMETHING I&#039;M PROUD OF. Her: But...that&#039;s part of the funnnnnnn. . . Me: Hon, there&#039;s nothing &#039;fun&#039; about being banned from five haunted houses in the tri-county area. . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dentonbeer #ntxbeer #dfwab #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #spoopy #blackbonnet #imperialsour #sourbeer #capegooseberry #goldenberry #blackberrybeer #armadilloaleworks #dentontx

.-🎃🧟 SPOOPY BEER TIME 😱🦇-. . . Her: I was wondering when you were finally going to drink all 7/10 of those @clownshoesbeer cans still sitting at the back of the fridge. Me: Yes...I was *totally* saving them for this occasion and *definitely* did not forget about them because of shiny new beers I just bought. Over the course of an entire year. H: Uh huh. Sure. So this one with the werewolf murder in progress is. . . M: Undead Party Crasher. Formerly known by another name, which I cannot repeat here. H: Because? M: Because if there&#039;s one thing scarier that reality-warping imps and human head-spiders, It&#039;s trademark lawyers. For long-dead Joss Whedon shows. H: Can&#039;t argue that. M: Some creamy chocolate flavors, easily overshadowed by smoky specters and a coffee base that just doesn&#039;t wanna die. H: Wow, you&#039;re barreling full-steam into this spooky theme, aren&#039;t ya? M: &#039;Spoopy&#039;. H: Snoopy? M: SPOOPY. H: Well that&#039;s not very polite. If you had to go, why didn’t you say so earlier? Me: [stomps off all pouty] Her: You should grab a roll of TP on the way! I did some damage in there earlier, and it was definitely a double-roll affair! . . #massbeer #masscraftbeer #bostonbeer #craftbrew #drinkcraft #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #spoopy #hocuspocus #billybutcherson #madtownbeerglass #heman #skeletor #mastersoftheuniverse #undeadpartycrasher #coffeestout #imperialstout #clownshoes #clownshoesbeer #bostonma

Andy Dwyer: Aw maaan...I hate it when cans do this. April Ludgate: Maybe it&#039;s so depressed, it wants it&#039;s insides on the outside, and they&#039;re trying to find a way out. Andy: So do we, like, help it then? April: Yes, that&#039;s what it would want. Let&#039;s end its suffering. Andy: But how do we get it open? If you try the tab, it&#039;s just going to snap backwards, and then we&#039;ll never get in. It&#039;s like this beer has its own...[raises eyebrow] Security Clearance. April: [in southern belle accent] What a mystery! If only there was someone here with the savvy and skills to solve this case! Andy: No worries, ma&#039;am. Looks like it&#039;s time to come out of retirement! [puts on shades] April: Oh, Burt Macklin! We&#039;ve got exactly 5/10 minutes to get this open, or we&#039;re goners! Andy: But how will we ever get to taste the solid hazy nectar inside? How will we know if it gets more bitter as the night wears on? There&#039;s not enough time! We- [pop] Andy: How did you- April: [regular April voice again] I just pressed down hard with a butter knife. It wasn&#039;t that difficult. Andy: It seems Burt Macklin&#039;s investigation team has grown this day. . . April: Also, I&#039;m pregnant. Andy: And grows again! Wait- THERE&#039;S BEER ON YOUR HANDS! THINK OF THE BABY April: It doesn&#039;t work that way. Andy: Right. Um...but it&#039;s safe for *me* to drink it, right? April: [walks out of room] . . (shoutout to @bigbeercountry for the awesome #beermail from @barrierbrewingco!). . . #newyorkcraftbeer #nycraftbeer #newyorkbeer #nybeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #glasstomouth #spiritofpawnee #ronswanson #andydwyer #burtmacklin #thematrix #neipa #securityclearance #barrierbrewing #nybreweries #oceansideny

Me: Heeeeeeewww...what a relief. Her: I saw something that looked spicy, along w/ a @martinhousebrewing label, and was worried. M: Apprehension initially felt on this end, as well. But &#039;twas all for naught! H: So...it wasn&#039;t spicy, then? M: Nah, they definitely used a sweeter chamoy for Holler at Chamoy (Pt. 2). Think they said tamarindo, and that checks out. Spicy part is sneaky, and doesn&#039;t hit you until 8/10 seconds later. H: Wait...didn&#039;t you say were allergic to some types of chamoy? M: Mnah, ish shno bheg deal. H: [recoils in horror] Rrrrriiight...I&#039;mma go grab the Benadryl. . . #gotexan #craftbrew #drinkcraft #dfwbeer #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #iprefercraftbeer #bighops #sourbeer #chamoy #holleratchamoy #tamarindo #tamarind #martinhouse #martinhousebrewing #fortworthtx

Her: *walks around corner into kitchen* Me: *stuck in the most violent pucker-face known to humankind* H: JESUSMARYJOSEPHANDALLHISCARPENTERFRIENDSWHATTHEF- M: *struggling to speak* Sorry...beer is...tart. . . H: Clearly. You&#039;re puckering so hard, I&#039;m surprised your face hasn&#039;t turned inside-out. M: Orange...taste good...just...intense. . . H: Huh. Guess that&#039;s one way to get you to cut back on the excessive chit-chat. [studies can] &#039;Bearer of Fruit,&#039; eh? Might hafta requisition @weatheredgroundbrewery for about 6/10 more of these per week. How&#039;s that sound? M: Mix of....&#039;yay&#039;...but also...&#039;why tho&#039;. . . H: So, reflective of our entire relationship, then? Me: [still puckered] Can&#039;t...currently...express...sad face...looks similar to...happy face...right now. . . . . #beermail #wvcraftbeer #westvirginiabeer #wvbeer #wvbreweries #craftbeer #drinklocal #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #pourcharacter #hawaiianpunch #beareroffruit #berlinerweisse #bloodorange #pomegranate #instabrew #weatheredgroundbrewery #coolridge #coolridgewv